The Fondled Peach

Here's another poem that will be featured in my collection of poems, "Crabs are our friends: A collection of Romantic Poems" by Dave the Romance Poet which is scheduled to be released April 2014 by Peter Puller Press Publishing (PP squared, for short).

I always like to reveal the inspiration for my poems as it may be the most frequently asked question I receive from lesser writers aspiring to achieve even half the level of success I've enjoyed.

The inspiration for this poem came to me one day while I was out riding my bicycle. I saw a dead chipmunk on the side of the road and that's when it came to me. So that's the reason I've titled this poem "Some Rocks are Gray and Some Aren't So Live With It".

Thank you. I hope you enjoy it.


I approached you in the grocery store
You were fondling a peach.
My pickup line was something like this:
I should be on you like a leech.

So you brought me back to your place
And made me a lovely dinner
And told me you'd make love to me
If I were 20 pounds thinner.

So for months I worked out
And took off the weight
Went back to your place
But you'd moved out of state.

I tracked you down
To North Carolina
Showed up at your door,
I'd never looked finer.

You pulled me into your room
Ripped off my clothes
You ravaged my body
With your mouth and your nose.

Now it was my turn
To send your body in shock
But when I pulled off your dress
You were sporting a cock.

So I ran all the way back to NY.
Screaming.
Like a little girl.



Thank you
©2007 Dave the Romance Poet.

Rose Clouds

Here's another poem that will be featured in my collection of poems, "Crabs are our friends: A collection of Romantic Poems" by Dave the Romance Poet which is scheduled to be released April 2014 by Peter Puller Press Publishing (PP squared, for short).

The inspiration for this poem came to me when my fly in my jeans got stuck at half mast after taking a leak in one of the men's rooms at a Wal-Mart in Maryland.

Which is why I titled this particular poem "Clouds Look Red To Me When I'm Wearing Rose Colored Glasses Even Though I Know In My Mind They're Really White"

I hope you like it. I think this one is VERY romantic.


I've been living my life
For the most part a loner
Then you came along
And gave me a boner.

I never said "Hi",
Just saw you in a store.
But my fantasy remains,
You're my own private whore.

Now things have changed
And money's an issue.
From dropping too many dollars
On boxes of tissue.



Thank you
©2007 Dave the Romance Poet.

Moss or Lichen?

It's been a while since I posted one because I can't post EVERY poem that's going to be in the book (which is titled "Crabs are our friends: A collection of Romantic Poems" by Dave the Romance Poet which is scheduled to be released April 2014).

But my beautiful friend from New Jersey asked for a new poem, so for her, I honor the request and share this with all of you.

By the way, the publisher, who just advanced me $32,000,000...a NEW WORLD RECORD!!!...is Peter Puller Press.

The inspiration for this poem came from watching a dog hump a telephone pole.

Which is why I call it "Moss (Or Is It Lichen?) Growing On The Asphalt Shingles On The Roof Of My Neighbor's Shed".

I hope you like it.


Hark! Do you hear it?
Yes! It is for sure!
There's no mistaking that sound!
The cry of a lonely whore!

I approach her quietly.
And give her some money.
A twenty dollar bill
She says, "Yeah, right, honey".

I say, "But you're lonely"
She says, "Go away.
Or give me a hundred
If you want to play."

'A hundred?', I think
I should cause a commotion!
But I go home alone
With my hand and some lotion.

And $16.22 in change.

Thank you
©2007 Dave the Romance Poet.