Vultures

I've been requested by one of my friends to write a new poem today. Since I'm a DJ by trade, honoring requests is something I strive to do whenever possible. Unless it's a really stupid request like the Barry Manilow/Twisted Sister mash-up called "We're Not Gonna Daybreak (It)".

So here goes. I had to reach for inspiration for this one. So I stepped outside and saw my 72 year old neighbor bent over pulling something out of the ground like she was giving it a tugjob. Therefore, my inspiration for this poem was the bug that crawled over my foot. I call this one "Vultures Circling Overhead Looking For Something Dead to Eat"

I think it's one of my most romantic ones to date. I hope you like it.

We undressed each other
In the middle of the day
We wanted a noontime
Roll in the hay.

But something caught my eye
It was just a little thing
Next time you wear a thong
Could you try and hide that string?

Month after month
That bill comes due
It puts you in the red
And that makes me blue.

So much for our nooner
That pretty much went south.
But it's lunchtime, you're hungry,
You need something in your mouth.



Thank you
©2007 Dave the Romance Poet.

Itchy Anus

Here's another one of my poems that will appear in my upcoming book (which is slated for release in April 2014). The book will be titled "Crabs are our friends: A collection of Romantic Poems" by Dave the Romance Poet.


This one is called "An Itchy Anus Isn't Always Something To Worry About; Sometimes It's Just An Itch."

The inspiration for this one came to me one day while moving a rock from one part of my garden to another. I hope you like it.

I jumped when I heard
The telepone ring
'Cause I was thinking of you
And masturbating.

Needless to say
The moment was ruined
And I was unable
To complete my act.

Maybe next time
With a little help from above
The phone won't ring
And I'll finish my self-love

Or maybe I'll just turn off the phone


Thank you
©2007 Dave the Romance Poet.

Golfing & Clowns

This one isn't really a romantic poem in the traditional sense, but I believe this particular poem is destined to become a classic much along the lines of "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning or "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost or perhaps even "There Once Was a Man From Nantucket" by Anonymous.

I call this one "Flowers Growing in Concrete" and I hope you like it. It was inspired by Chris Farley's famous Chippendale dancer sketch with Patrick Swayze on Saturday Night Live and it's one of my personal favorites. It's a "modern poem" in that it doesn't rhyme. Enjoy.

Tears stream down the face
Of a miniature golf course clown.
Of course it's only water from a hose,
But still it's sad.

And it makes me cry
As I shoot for the hole in one
That will win me a free game.
But the tears make me miss.

I think it's a conspiracy.


Thank you
©2007 Dave the Romance Poet.